Another Below Deck Podcast
Another Below Deck Podcast

Episode · 2 months ago

Help! I Need Somebody! | Below Deck Down Under S1 E11


Nick, Pat and Dylan are back to talk intellectual property theft, The Beatles, arugula, kangaroo, jet skis, lobster on you and much more Below Deck Down Under.

The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at

Also available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!

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Yeah, I think you just said help, but luckily Jamie has trained for this. He's not going to fish another Chinese boy out of a pool. Okay. And also Jamie was so confused because he's like, why is that guy yelling out more Kobe Kul as songs? M Hm, help, I need somebody help, not just anybody. Is that a Kolby Callias back in the USSR? Is that Colby? Hi, hello, and welcome aboard to another brand spanking new episode of another podcast. Network presents the patreon exclusive recap of Peacock's Blow Dick Dan and I'm dealing suddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis, that producer podcast, is over there behind my glasses. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. How are you guys? Doing pretty good, nick gave us some good news today. What's up? Well, they're gonna have another. They're gonna do another one of these deals where they have to to uh, to below deck shows running simultaneously, which means Kutching, because one of those, of course, I will be doing for free, and the other will stay behind this nice little wall that you need to pay to come come through. Yeah, and I think everybody who is listening to this is really thrilled because they get to be a part of that party, in other words those who can hear the sound of my voice right now. You're not going anywhere. Okay, shout out to peacock, and Bravo for helping US build that wall. Just a straight run. Build out wall, build that wall. You guys doing a political thing. Well, I don't even know where that would have came from. What would you why? Where do you get that? We're talking about patreon and people having to pay us. You know, speaking of Youtube being bigoted towards Hispanics. I had such an incredible Uber Ride here today. Anybody could build the wall. This young lady named Anna, and we just spoke for the entire time about farm animals. What real beauty is the kind of Chilas they use and get it ro I mean it was just so beautiful. I heard tear down that wall, let them all in. I heard him recapping that conversation with his uber driver to his wife. I was like, look at Dylan, uh, something he would scoff at me for, but just getting a really educational, entertaining conversation with your driver. Are you going to delve into it? An APS? No, no, no, I I'll forget about it because I'm bad at writing down things and I've had a lack of commitment to another party. You forget an argument with an Uber driver, like over something that you disagree with, that they did? Um What? Like the Turks aren't that bad. What are you talking about? Oh, one time I got in an argument about an uber driver and she was telling you know, because they you know, they used to talk a lot more, I think, Uber drivers, you know, and she started telling me how she was piste off that the person that was renting her the h the house or guesthouse or something like that, said she had six months and then she needed to find her own place. And I said, what if you owned a place? I think she felt she was gonna hear a kind ear that agreed to her plight. I was like if, yeah, if you own the property, you have the right to say she would have heard of uh kind words from me. No Way I'm getting into that muck. I don't like. Yeah, I can't believe that. Yeah, no, it is not APS. But before we get into below deck, I do want to get a public service announcement out of the way. How are we feeling about the columnancy, lime, sparkling. So Dylan brought in some really snobby claw just to throw it in nick...

...and I's face, because we drink that pantherpist and, uh, you know what, I appreciate it. I know it's your attempt to belittle me, but I enjoy I'm enjoying the hell out of it. Perhaps the point is taken by I'm not nearly offended by your your gestures. You were hoping it would be. Oh, it's good, but I I am pretty sure we give Dylan a day and were blindfold, we stick a Mike's Heart in his hand and he doesn't know the fucking difference. That's what I'm tasting right here. I welcome that test. He's going to get you on that this. There is a quite a difference between this and that garbage that we go that's swill that we say. Right now. You have a Heifer's Palett. So that's why you think I couldn't be able to tell the difference. Was that right? English? I could tell the difference to you. You know what. This tastes like. Dylan, are supposed to most are meant to mimic something. This is just a beautiful simple would be if you had a really Nice Tequila and some fresh lime juice just squeezed in that poppy is stunning. They also have a where would you get the carbonation in the drink you just describe? Little Little Seltzer Um. Twenty dollars for four bottles. Is that too much? Pretty outrageous. It's California. Well, they also are twelve. Those are twelve. Yeah, yeah, no, that that makes sense. It's not that bad, right. Drink five bucks of drink. Do you think they pay? You pay for a bud light at Laurel Tavern seven dollars and you pay seventy four dollars at dodger stadium. Yes, did you ever see that thing where they have a media another podcast? I don't know what to talk about with down under. Honestly, I'd you ever see that fucking bullshit that they're pulling a dodger stadium with the medium and Large Cup? The way they're shaped, they hold exactly the same amount of liquor. It's just the larger one looks like it. Dodger Stadium has gone to hell in a handbasket. I think that's the right expression. But and this guy doesn't want the wall. Well, listen, when I'm at Dodger Stadium and I see Chamoy on everything, you know, I'm like, what is let's build that. Kidding, but I am too, but no, it's it's it's nuts. That the you know, they have so many Jews at that ballpark and it comes from Brooklyn and they've gotten rid of the all beef dodger dog. I honestly think it's anti Semitic and I think there should be a protest. But let's get into peacocks below deck, down under, uh, and thoughts and pots nick. Why don't you go first? And Pata Ben Jabbing away. Oh, also, I'm I'm I'm hot tonight, UH peacock, don't think you don't notice. They stole our title. Did you say? Did you say stoled? No, I said stole. All right, it was a hard breath, but it was like it was like stole our title, Benny and the Jet Skis Right, I mean exactly verbatim. They stole it and it's pretty sickening. It was a much bigger deal with the jet skis last time. I mean, I mean he wasn't even on a jet Ski. This time he was on a jet ski last time. There are so many different titles, Um, that they could have come up with for this episode. That's Intellectual Property Theft and laziness. Honestly, and imitation is the sinceres form of flattery, so I'll take it a little bit. I would even say just keep doing it like I do. Enjoy seeing my thoughts on screen, even if I'm not compensated, and the bigger case I can build up than I can sue you eventually for the I P theft, you sons of bitches, sons of Pea, Kock, knock, Bravo. Uh, okay, episode. It was the worst episode of the season. Uh, nothing really happened on this goddamn episode. Uh, yeah, I got I don't know. I guess you guys are gonna have to Jibber Jabber for about forty five on this one's encouraging. I've got ten knots, ten knots. Huh. Um. I actually found it to be kind of a a... episode. I'd a lot to say. Um, a lot of little bubbling instances of hatred for me, and you know how we love to hate when we watch reality television. But, Benny and Magda, you know I don't want to sound like a boomer, because I'm not a boomer, I'm a millennial, but I genuinely do not understand why there's an entire generation of us that needs positive reinforcement in career environments. I mean, every once in a while you need it, but it's just fucking wild and infuriating to me. It's it's like Jamie's making up in competencies. Benny, you were pulling a James Bond. You were taking selfies off of an the edge of an unmanned vehicle. You're an insane person. It's it's just like Joe Rogan was telling God. Sad I don't want you taking your mental health day. Okay, if your Mother didn't die, get your ask to work and work. That's what you're saying right. I think what we're trying to find is a balance here. Now it's when I first got into the workforce, not appropriate. You could be punched by your super appropriate or choked. That's not good. Yeah, and you know I was, uh, you know, infamously terminated for being in the office on vacation. You know. So you don't want that kind of work environment either. But Magdun, Benny, or just driving me up a wall. They have you. Oh Yeah, you guys are both in fired. Did you know? A little confession over here. I've never been fired from a job in my entire life. Your medals in the mail. Thank you. Talking about the episode. Really Cool, Pat. No, I did love gets at and Joe Talking about and I'm not a big Joe Rogan guy anymore, but gets such such a lovely guy and he was talking about books being doing. The biggest Joe Rogan guy he's got. He's got the J R e Tattoo on his back. Goad. was talking about how books are fossils of our creativity. Such a beautiful way of putting that. Fossilizing our connection to one another. So beautiful. So our podcast so um. We last left off, Ryan was pizza ratting all over the place. He was spitting light beer in a rage of to me, who in turn transformed into what a version of herself this is? You know she's she's gone super saying I love this to me, suck my Dick, suck my Dick. Well, Ryan made an egregious mistake. Like to whom he said, he went against the the only kind hand. He had. When you go against that, then you are left with no protection. It's just like Marty Mush dating rhea and and going against Dave and big cat. You know, because AP N, we would like to say strong stance. We're team Hank. Right, guys, Nick, I mean Pat, are you team hank? If you're Milton strong, your team Hank. Are you Milton strong? Now you guys accused me of not listening, and and that accusation is very apt. I don't listen. Has this been mentioned before? Yes, okay, and we've directly asked you numerous times what team you're on. Look at you sucking down that college. It's yours. Yeah, I mean you can have no, no, no, you can give it to you can have it. I'm just really enjoying this. It's magnificent, isn't it? But yeah, team hank, defend the walls. So, yeah, igreedious mistake by Ryan biting the hand that feeds him and would protect him. Well, well, he has yet the hand that was rubbing his back, the fingers through his hair, and I don't like that version of to me. That's bad. I like the suck my Dick, go toil away and your stainless steel prison version of to me. So Asia is in the midst of a breakdown because of what Ryan and Magnus said about her. I get that she's hurt, but this is kind of exhibit. You know Z...

C of you know she's just I don't know that she's cut out for it. I mean, who gives a funk with Ryan says, what are you crying? Yeah, it's more it's magnitude. It's if you're in a position of power, you have to have tough skin. Kid. Also, you do know you're down in the dumps if Brittiny is the one cheering you up. She's just basically like, at least you're not me. Um, Magda has some moment of realization, but I don't think it's gonna take. So let's move on to ball of snakes type stuff, but not really. Um, it's a ball of snakes. I thought you were making that noise. Well, yeah, I did it because I had written down to holy smokes, UM, the party doesn't get started until the entertainment director shows up to the hot tub time. Yeah, so let's talk about Um. This is not anywhere near where we need it to be because it's down under. I think a litmus test for a well casted season of this show is what they do in and around a Jacuzzi, and that's not just sexual. I'm not trying to be PERV PURV. The Jacuzzi is an important hub for the sea rats. They smoke sigs there, they fight, there, they break glass, there, they suck and they fuck there and the hot hub. Yes, exactly. And a cast, this cast, is not making good use of this most important watering home you can. I I. What I think happened here is they thought they had the perfect cast, Comedia del Andy. Uh. They thought Jamie was gonna be their dog, who was gonna be fucking Stews, but that that whole issue. He was hitting out magnonite. One was worried about looking like a sleeze, backed off, called everybody ugly, dried him up. It really ruined got it didn't come off as a sleeze and I think the master plan of what the casting producers I thought was gonna happen, it all fell apart. You know something interesting about Australia, and I dealt with a lot of Australians, I think I mentioned this before, in the tour business there the third most uh, they come to America quite a bit so I got to interact with a lot of Australians. They yeah, I have sex with a bunch of them, but mainly this point I'm about to make is because I watched a lot of reality TV. A lot of reality shows come out of Australia, and all of them show that pretty much the twenty types that there are Florida trash like they're that version of Florida. They got all the net tattoos. They're all horrid. Up missed opportunity here to not dig into that that hopper and pull out something. There are plenty of misfit toys walking around that prison in the middle of the very eloquent. You said it way better than me, I do think. Bravo slash peacock, though that's kind of a misstep. We could have had more neck tats. They are doing somewhat of a good job with casting, because what you need is true sea rats, not these ones we get after who have been on a couple of seasons with a Polish like Ed they got rid of Eddie. Did you see there? And he was pissy. He says they weren't even paying him. Well, yeah, which like obviously Eddie. That's the thing you can get marginally more than the other sea rats, but if you ask for a real salary, you're done. You're done, we'll get someone new. Not to mention you just botched a claim of racism directly to you as the leader of the deck crew. So just a bad time to ask for a raise. You've got no leverage. Also, yeah, Buddy, and you're showing up to this show with a fucking girlfriend. You snore fest. Yeah. Well, speaking of Snore Fest, we've got Jamie and calmer colvert. Now, Jamie, I like that take. From the look of him, you would think that he was going to be, you know, the Comedia del Andy Douchebag of the cast, but he, as we mentioned, has the protector element to him. Um, so he really is just, Um, a safety warrior and also kind of a gross chauvinist. Not In like that he's like hooking up with people, but he's implicated.

He's disgusted by these women and he, I don't know, he's not afraid to show it. But then we've got culver, who is, I mean, be a gentleman man. Britt wants a toasty what are you doing? And it's helped out by their direct supervisor trying to mash their heads together once again, I think at Ross dress for less. I don't think that goes over the next day. Maritime Law, Um, so also not okay. At Sports Authority. Yeah, Ahoim Aties, as Dylan would say, it's time to get sexy. That's right. Today's episode is brought to you by dame products. You know you've got to keep it spicy in the bedroom, otherwise things are gonna get stale. You guys are gonna Start Fighting, get a divorce and mess up your kids permanently. But if you and if you don't have kids, you still need spices up, because you'll never get to the point if you have kids without dame products. Let me recommend their most iconic product, Eva. I think it's a little play on words of Eve. It's there. It's their first and most iconic product, the first hands free couples vibrator designed to enhance your partner play without getting in the way. What a tagline their poets, and they didn't even know it. I think they did know it and rhymed intentionally, but think about that. I mean, everybody loves a little something that vibrates. The problem is you normally need to use your hands and then your hands aren't free to do other stuff. People like to be touched with their hands and then with that thing, but if you're if you're holding that thing. The point is you gotta get this hands free vibrator, and how you get it is go to dame products dot com and use pro Promo code below deck for fifteen percent off your first order. That's Promo Code below deck to get fifteen percent off your order at dame products dot com. That's right, keep it spicy. Everyone Eva hands free. Most I kind of. They also have a sexual vibratary. Decided to get you there fast. Massage oil, top three favorite oil. I call it sex oil, but we'll call it massage oil. It's sex oil. Today's episode is also brought to you by magic mind, literally my favorite sponsor and yours. Uh, you guys know it. It's the Anti procrastination drink. It's gonna help you knock stuff off your to do list rather than see your to do list grow. That's what I did last week, but today it's Monday. I had my magic mind and I'm just knocking stuff off and lift uh. It's a it's a once daily shot it's a Macha based drink. Mach is hot. Right now you're probably just getting Macha green drinks from some juice place. Get this once daily shot that has Macha and eleven other natural ingredients. We're talking ECANASIA, Astuaganda and other natural ingredients. It has a nice thirty milligrams a caffeine. That's not going to give you that anxiety that too much coffee does. Uh, it's gonna be give you along with those natural ingredients. It's really the alchemy of all of them combined. That's why you're not gonna gonna get this same type of focus in any other product. But those twelve natural ingredients, like those captain planet kids with their powers, combined, are going to give you a nice zen focus hum throughout the day. So go to Magic Mind Dot Co. Use Promo Code Jason to prove your below deck under down under Fan More Than Below Deck Med uh. GO TO MAGIC MIND DOT Co. Use Promo Code Jason for off. That's magic mind, DOT Co. Use Promo Code Jason for off. The night ends with a debaucherous consumption of food. Bertini's headbutting watermelon. She's speaking to her Raman. So it's time to shut it down. You know, on a drunken night we're fucking supposed to happen and it doesn't, you only have one other option and that's just to fill your fucking pie hole with an empty cars yeah, it's it's there's really just I always knew when I when I was gonna be hanging out with a girl's I was like, Oh, I'm starving, can we go through a drive through or something like that? I'd be like, Oh, there won't be sex tonight. Remember your father say that, tob shut. If you're headed home through the bar with that little lady and she yes, you just stop at Jack of the Bucks to order a Belkshakeing Frost. You're not gonna see her naked. Dear, YOU'RE gonna want to get the cheesy Gordiona crutch after. So, uh, Jamie,...

...the buzzkill tells everyone up at nine am when we get some shut, I now that shut I will be cut two hours short because captain wakes and see's the glass and the sigs and the old lobster is still on his hands and he's piste off. Never has there been a more appropriate name for an area than the cruise mess. Yeah, it is a mess down thing. Hey, John, I'm gonna grab that other claw. Okay, if, Sally Orita, there's one one rule. Um, please don't call them laws. That's the one clause. Like like, what is that? No, no, no, what is that called? When, Um, when something becomes synonymous with the product, proprietary, proprietary, epinym. Please do not use claws. Nothing gets me, gives me a dope, woman hit quite like getting a trivia question right. You guys want to go to Barthroom? You, Um, you know, because there are what are you talking about? Put put us on your back. I'm kidding. There are things that no one you know nothing about, and there are things that I know nothing about. I've sat in these Trivia Nights and I've just been like, who the fuck knows the answer to this fucking question? Doing here? I I quickly get humbled at a real trivia night. That so Jaman flames his deck crew and gives Jamie, the Lord of the flies, type choice pick the person who will be punished, and we learned last week that he does have that protector complex that the crew didn't know about. So he does fall on the sword. Now, a little late, though, I think right in this moment is when he should have exceed the extreme ownership. That would have been a dopeballer move, and then he would had a meeting with his team be like, I don't care who did it, but let's not have it happened again. Jocko would have given him a B minus, maybe even a C plus or maybe even lower. Yeah, fat passer fail with Jacko. He doesn't have time for the rubric or what rose. So the most annoying thing about this is benny handing out ethics tickets to his CO workers. In his talking heads. He's like, come on, culver, own up to this. Hey, Benny, why don't you own up to killing your parents and leave people alone? Okay, you little fucking bitch. Sorry, you know what, believe that that's too nasty, but he just he really pisces me off, and I mean it's just insane the he's able to a glass over that. It's like, Oh, one guy left trash on board, one guy killed both of his parents. You slaughtered your parents. What are we talking about here, lesser of two evils? These cs are filled with murderers. Hey, we did. We get to the part where that captain hot stuff, gives him a verbal, verbal warning. I'll get there in a second, but so first to me, gives meg the rundown on the ask that she will surely funk up soon. And then we get to this meeting with cap. Yes, now I love Jamie's reasoning for not telling the captain that it was culver. He's just fucking hates Benny. He's like, I'm not gonna throw culver. Hasn't sucked up at all. Benny's been sucking up constantly. Um, I'm not throwing culver under the bus. and that is when cap gives him the verbal warning. Next time we're gonna have to verbal warning. Devil secret probation. Mate, I say, where are these fucking demerits for all the cocks being swung in people's faces? I guess we don't have a problem with that, but a verbal warning for not taking the trash out, and it did seem like a very arbitrary, made up at the spots scale, like he said. What comes next? We got the probation. It reminded me of this scene from the office let that has a been Merrit Jim Halpert eartiness. I love it already. You've got to learn...

Jim, you're second at command, but that does not put you above the law. Oh, I understand, and I also have lots of questions, like what does it demerit mean? Let's put it this way. You do not want to receive three of those. Three demerits and you'll receive a citation. Now that sounds serious. It is serious. Five citations and you're looking at a violation. Four of those and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those that will lend you in a world of hurt in the form of a disciplinary review written up by me and placed on the desk of my immediate superior which would be me. So, if, if we're if hot, captain's going off d white scale. He's already received three demerits, five citations and four violations. Yeah, no, I mean he has been fucking up left and right. Bertini, that was only fifty seconds. It seemed like an absolute eternity. No, no, no, anytime I can. I can drinking a little office. I'm I'm a happy camp the soothing office. I was going to mention it, but I didn't want to speak right when the clips started. UH, so Brittini, having propositioned culver for hot sex the night before, is curious about what's going to happen next, and I was thinking, I mean, everybody knows you're gonna be homeless together. You'll you'll funk each other a couple of times in the four corners and it'll be a blast. You'll eate beans and canned Ravioli and I have a lot of water jugs all over the place and you'll just be fucking each other. You know, crazy, don't be bums. Don't get beans, cany Ravioli and other canned food. Yeah, yeah, Tuna, a lot of tuna. But we got to talk about the big one. It's the big sit down, it's the big meeting, it is the pen man that our primaries. These guys are weird, weird. Reverend Jackson, I called that Dweeb, that weird looking one. Ah, he's, of course, referring to Co Primary Carlton Dickerson and Co Primary Molina Mussu met Mechi. I think it nailed that. I think so too. From Sydney, New South Wales, Carlton Dickerson and Millennium Mass Much are co primaries who are strangers to know strangers to first class treatment. Molina is a senior accounts executive and Carlton is the founder of a successful financial software company who moonlines as a musician. He even released an album of Christmas songs, which we might be hearing in a bit, originally from Shanna, Georgia. Carlton Will Be Celebrating His Twentieth Year of Living Down Under while cruising through the W Sundays for the first time. Jodining Carlton and Melina will be a few of their friends. Jason is a former acrobat who runs a thriving workwear company. Is that the guy that got a cramp and started yelling for help? Help? How the mighty have fallen if it were him? Acrobatic don't wear t shirts and bodies of water. If that guy died, I hope they put that in his obituary. died of a leg cramp foot. If that happens to me, I drowned and die. You know you're not gonna see me screaming for help. If that happens to you, you tread for a couple of minutes. It does. It does its cramp. It's very painful. You tread with one one leg and you I also think he had a life veest on. So we'll get there. But also God, but also failing to prepare. That means he didn't drink enough water on the lead up. Again, it's his fault. He should have drowned, they should have left. I've thrown up in my own snorkel before. Thrown up, sucked it back in choppy waters. I didn't cry for help. I wanted to, but I didn't. Jay. His wife, Cheryl, works... I T and expects nothing less than a seven star experience. Well, I think she's gonna be a little disappointed to people get their stars so fucked up. Five, Michelin, seven stars. It's just you're all out of whack. Oh yeah, sixty two stars on our flag or something, rounding out the charter are are you got this? I think I got an auto correct area because it's a lower case Venita, an entrepreneur and luxury traveler, Peter, who works in insurance, and Richard, a hotel venue hotel venue manager who will be extremely focused on the service. This group of workholic guests are looking forward to being pampered and having the trip of lifetime. They have high expectations and the stirring palettes. They're looking for, they're looking forward to dining and events that will make this charter. They will charter they will never forget. And let's listen to some of Carlton's music. Now he does what, uh, I don't know, but he did a Christmas album. I think you fancy himself like a shrike Sinatra type. It sounds like the MIC is in the back of the room. This is posted on Youtube five years ago. It has seventy six views. Alright, we're done. Yeah, definitely done. And I actually miss I forgot, I didn't write down if they hadn't said what they wanted to do. They're they're gonna go snorkeling. That concludes the preference sheet. Man, these guys are weird. He's a weird guys are Weirdos. Alright, Jackson is what we will refer to him. Going for it, I agree. Sha goes on a tour of harm. Here. She Sits Down with Magda First Um and they have a really productive chat and magna has a stunning realization, kind of like this mental wellness epiphany, that she was projecting onto Asia the resentment she had for her last boss, who once again did not like Magna, because magnet is just too attractive. Well, she was at her other boss was apparently a fellow model. Yeah, you know, it gets really competitive between, uh, failed models or models that aren't models who are sea rats working on boats. That field is very, very you know, I have a question. Maybe if we ever get a chance to talk to Mac now, ask her this. If you're such a successful model, why are there only two photos of you're modeling? Yeah, so I love when she says that she's a model right, because we cut two pictures of her in white polos working on boats, pictures that she took for her instagram, and then, Um, like two photos from one shoot. Yeah, yeah, there's a low bar to being a I don't know howadays all you need is some guy dm me on instagram be like, Oh, I want to shoot some pictures of you. You go out, you take some pictures by the beach, he tries to fuck you and then you never see those pictures. Yeah, that's that's just what happens when you have you ever thought about modeling nude? I take beautiful pictures. I just love the female bodies of paying Gig Oh, you can use it for your portfolio. I'll pay for your gas to get out there. Yeah, but but no, this is really for exposure for you. It's yeah, yeah, uh. When I was in Thailand, I just got a divorce. I just wondering if you could come take some picks at a studio. No, my apartment studio. I'm glad you made it. Before we get started, I'm just gonna take out of my robe. Yeah, don't, don't mind my Dick. I can't take pictures now. Erect. This is normal. Don't mind that I have a throbbing heart on right now. Just be a perfect so I take pictures if you want to make it... this industry. When I was in Thailand a few years ago, I went to a place called James Bond Island, very beautiful views. There were two girls. I was there for a total of an hour. These girls brought a bunch of different outfits and they kept swapping them and taking pictures of each other, like doing a magma. Yeah, models. Now a word from our sponsor. Better help. In my past I've had a lot of stuff to do, and sometimes that can be overwhelming for people. I finally reached the conclusion that the problem was I was worried about all the things I had to do rather than what I needed to do to get them done. A solution rather than focusing on the problem. Make an action plan, and it took me a while to get to this point and I think I would have found it a lot sooner had I talked to a licensed therapist at better help dot com slash below deck. Had I done that, I could have got ten percent off my first month using Promo Code below deck at better help dot com slash below deck, but I haven't done it yet. Uh and, honestly, if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, better help is a great option. It's convenient, accessible, affordable and entirely online. You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapist at any time, just in case you don't like the person that you ended up talking about. They're always gonna be licensed, but sometimes you've got to find the right vibe. So when you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. If is it better help dot com slash below deck today to get ten percent off your first month. That's better help. Better H E LP dot com slash below deck. Off Your first month. Go get help. So, UM, Benny's not happy. Who Cares? Let's get to pizza rat and Asia. So she confronts him about behaving like a sewer human and then he gets defensive straight from the jump. I know who. I know who told you. That's not the point. You called me. You're saying horrible things. Say, Hey, I know exactly who fucking gave you that inside scoop. She did a great job not falling for those red herrings and stayed on point. She's like no, you piece of ship. I don't like you talking about me. I don't care who you're. I love you. Could tell the person that told you all that stuff. They didn't get it completely right. Yeah, I said a positive thing about you know, but I love it, though, that didn't give back to her. That's the problem with telephone. Well, it was. It was a overall it was a disingenuous half thought that he threw out really quickly. He saw that he looked at the camera right before. Yeah, I like her as a person, but what a Lazy Cunt, Huh Um. But I do love that Asia is going around staring this mutiny of losers in the face, because I don't know, it just kind of reminds me of, you know, the other end of Godfather, where Michael's going around kind of facing down his people that are causing the COR Leone family issues. It's kind of like what Asia did, but she's just not shooting people in the face. She wasn't even going to join this season, but every time she's out they pull her back. So Ryan says something about being stressed. Leads to showing guilt. Question Mark, question mark, question mark. He said, I tend not to get stressed, even if it is my fault. The second you show you the stress, you admit guilt. He's a piece of ship. Oh my God, he is just a broken outlook on life. Oh this guy, he has the sickening joy he took out of staring at dead baby kangarook. So yeah, let's get there. Unfortunately, because of the PSI OP waged on the world by the Chinese and by Bill and Melinda Gates, they just can't fire the guy. There's no one who has come out of quarantine that is ready to do this. So he knows he's under the microscope. So he's gonna Chill out, which his version. What's up? I don't remember his version of this is shoving baby kangaroo carcasses in people's faces and laughing like everything about him is either sad, disgusting,...

...anger inducing. Just just as zero out of ten human being. This is him being like nice and funny and it's just weird. I will talk to him, Dylan. I'm gonna Promise to deliver that interview. Um. So, meanwhile, meanwhile, Jamie Uh sets permanent rolls, Ryan Boils some crab and Asia slammed some whipped creamed down. Before the guests arrive. She's probably taken whip it. Then we get a tour of the boat, thank God. And the guests asked for Oysters and for the preparation to surprise them. Do not worry, I fear not. Ryan's got this. A bet of a Rugola is laid on a plate, the oysters are shocked and lemon wedges are crudely cut and laid on the Arugola. There is no Mignonette, there wasn't a thought of cooking them, there was no warm preparation. A million miles from this uh, from this boat, there's not even catchup and horse round. I stirred together. It is a small display of this man's gross and honestly dangerous negligence, that this was so lazy a presentation of Oysters. He should have put Grenadine on him. That would have been a huge surprise, a huge surprise, Um, and I love the way that yeah, what's up? Well, I'm also glad she corrected herself because he also did a he's surprised. She wants something fancy. He definitely surprised. He got she got bottom of the barrel. surprised. I saw that Arugula come out and I was like, oh my fucking God, that I don't that kind of presentation is like, I don't know if sizzlers started doing oysters like it's just the tackiest, most thoughtless I'll just chuck some Rugela. It's so funny if I would have been served that big. Oh my God, this is so fancy. How do I? How do I eat this? What do I do with it? Now? The charter gas was referring it to it as natural presentation. Was that was? Is that such a thing? Is when it's prepared in such a simpleton way that's referred to as natural? Or was that in fact a slight at him? Um, natural is an incorrect word for classic preparation. Classic preparation is Oyster, and it's the best presentation. I'm not into like cooked oysters, Um, but it's served with a little bit more a Koutrament than just what and it's definitely never served on a bed of peppered uh spinach. That that's just such a wildly bad direction to take. Um. But it's usually accompanied with some type of mignonet, which is pretty simple to make. It's vinegar and shallots and cocktail sauce. Um, don't be afraid to use horse radish. It's horse radish and ketchup sauce right now. Definitely not. and Um, then, you know, put some fresh graded horse radish and then cut the lemons. Don't cut them crudely. Make sure the seeds are removed. It's a very, very simple thing, but you just have to take some time and do it. He pulled out a bag of a rugla. It's just so wild, and then slap some Kimche on it later. I mean, this guy just sucks. So Um. Moving on, I love the way that this woman told Asia that what the chef had done had made her vacation worse. Um, be honest, but be polite, and it wasn't necessarily polite, but it's Ryan, so stab him, I don't care. He's told of the criticism and you can see the switch appear in his brain. On is use guys and fuck use guys, and off is normal human being. Take a breath. Luckily, he is a changed man and you can see that in his lunch, which is once again crab that the guests have to harvest themselves at this time.

It's seasoned with something Um shellfish that has to be cracked by the guests. Is His beef cheeks. He's served at five, six times. Now we're on episode eleven. So the Cole Primary Slams Her fucking head into the roof of the tender and we move on to snorkeling. Uh. The guests are having a blast, and then we get to the foot gramp. There is a man in a t shirt in the water and he yells help probably six or seven times now. There are varied responses to this from the crew on the tender. Is He with us? I'm pretty sure he's saying help. Yeah, I think he just said help. But Luckily Jamie has trained for this. He's not going to fish another Chinese boy out of a pool. Okay, Um, I forgot about that. Hopefully this was one night that Jamie could his head could hit that pillow and rest, you know, at peace. It was probably the Chinese kid pulling him under, alright, the ghost. So Uh. And also Jamie was so confused because he's like, why is that guy yelling out more Kobe Klay Songs? M Hm, you know, I would never laugh at that, but I love that help. I need somebody help, not just anybody. Is that a Kolby Callier? So thanks. Back in the U S S back in the U S S R, is that colby out? Hey, jude? Alright, so, Um, we spoke about it. that he gets out there. You're the guys like, I want to hold your hand. This guy fucking loves Kobe. He just starts talking about blackbirds. Um, all right, so he's say he's safe. So lot of things happen. Um, after the foot cramp, we've covered it. It's a pathetic display of masculinity. The man is elevating his foot on a bag of eye. I mean it's just I'm a pussy and this guy makes me look like Jocola. This isn't just coming from us, the Prime Cole Primary Molina. She notes at some point. She says uh, he said how to go. Said, uh, it was pretty fun, except that guy died. To be pretty embarrassing for me, she immediately sold him down the river the second they returned. And Milana, how was your vacation? I was amazing, except for someone fucking drowned, and it kind of sucked after that. It brought it down to about a seven, but we still had a good time. The crew couldn't even like look at in the I felt so stupid, Col blooded, and now we have to plan a funeral. Alright, so a lot of things happened after this, dare I say, meanwhile, Um Benny slams the tender into full speed and starts taking pictures off the side of an unmanned vehicle. When Jamie says always drive the boat you're driving, Benny says he's trying to create incompetencies. He's manufacturing these demerits, these violations and these disciplinary actions. Um, I I don't know what to say about Benny. He is the worst version of the mental illness of the millennial. He's the only worst enemy. Really, just keep your mouth shut and say sorry, I'll do better. That's all you need to answer, and maybe don't kill your parents. Just shut up. So Captain Jason is down in the Galley for dinner. Ryan, being a changed man, says it's fine, it's his boat, but he better get ready to start doing some fucking dishes. I guess it is his boat, fucking psycho. First course is oysters. Again, we've got Kimchi Yusu and she so c Shahy. You know, looked fine. Next course is kangaroo, red wine auction, sweet potato puree and cervill again...

...the food looked it looked fine. Tonight he realized that he is under the microscope and he turned it up to a four with a cooked red meat, a red wine reduction and sweet potato puree. Just blowing the doors off the place. But the the issue that I had with the service was that it was so fucking bizarre, with Culver doing this Crocodile Dundee thing. Um, it would be like if we went to France and they found out that we were from Los Angeles and they came to the table and they were like, what's up, guys, we've got a coat to both for you. Hope you guys, we'd be like, what are you doing? But he they were it was an Australian themed dinner. Yeah, but I I still feel like the campiness of this. It's I I find it inappropriate and annoyed me as well. If if I was paying for this, I would have said please, do not have that Chile to come back to our but lightly. How? How about one of the young, beautiful women that are have been serving us? Can we ask you something real quick? Please do not have that gentleman come back to the table. Uh. Going back to Ryan stepping up his game just a bit tonight. uh, that's what rats, be they pizza or sewer, are known to do. Survival, self preservation. He will do just the bare minimum to stay in this boat, but unfortunately his days are uh. So four pots penny tells Britt that he wants her to do the fishing h just once so she can experience it. He is recommending that the charter guests taking advantage of this feature. Um, I hate this human being. I really really hate and it's not like Ryan, like I think he can grow out of this Um. He's had a tough time, having slaughtered his parents. He's still dealing with that guilt, Um Ryan, and as a broken human being. There's no chance of rehabbing him, I don't think. But Benny it like this is just such a nasty, fucking sniveling little thing to do. Like Brittain, tell them to go out fishing. This doesn't exist. You got the wrong short end of the stick. Why do you want to subject someone else to it? It's so fucking weird, so weird, Um. All right. So this drives Brett to go and rat on the person who has that protector element we know so well. And when Brett asks for his help, he says no, figure it out. Um. What a leader, what a leader, so magnet is getting the positive affirmation that Benny so craves. And we sleep to wake for the next day. We end with the four minutes of Benny and the jet ski stuff, just to recap it really quickly. Um, culver jumps on. He gets on the jet ski to put the Crane, the hook on it. While he is still seated on the Jet Ski, Benny Starts Hiking it up. Uh, he's told to slow down and let culver off the fucking Jet Ski. When the jet ski has brought up, Benny says, leave me alone, I know what I'm doing, and that sends Jamie to the Crow's nest to speak to hot captain Jason. The problem for Jamie is that hot captain Jason has a story has a bit of a soft spot for Benny's. So I do not think that this is going to go the way Jamie wants it to go, and it makes me sad, because Benny should be not only fired from the bub but he should be thrown in jail for the merciless execution of his parents. Um, that's the end of the guys, jump in the comments. Let us know your favorite thing to put on oysters. We love you very much. We'll see you next week. I'm doing saying goodbye nick. Say Goodbye, goodbye, bye, say goodbye bye, bye the print intance et.

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